The Confession

Let’s accept it. We sucked.

We all sucked.

In life, in investing, in pursuing happiness, in the bright shiny future that had been imposed on us that one day we were made to believe we would get.

Nobody is getting that, mate. Sorry for the truth. 

Truth? What is it? Nobody is going to get that happiness, or the happiness does not exist at all, OR this is normal? 

Yup, the normal is to accept that it is impossible that everyone will live the same shiny life. It is mathematically impossible. Because there might be some other guys doing the shit work to keep you bright. So there are two things remaining. 

1) are you the shit-handler to keep others clean or are you on the bright side of the future?

2) what is the bare minimum for you to tell you are doing just OK?

I spent years and years and years creating these questions for myself and trying to find the answers. The answers are not easy to find or accept when you find them.

Sometimes being humble and nice is perceived as a non-demander or even an afraid, weak loser. Just because you know that others are sucking at what they do but not aware, just because you be kind since they are fucking losers and miserable, just because you do what you do nicely, it ends up fucking you. Being honest, being a communal optimizer, and being keen on the best interests of others too are the worst fucking mistakes you can ever make. 

Sorry boi, this life is not a fucking joke, but you have yet to come to an understanding at your 40s… You are the joke itself, ay?

I—not literally but quite semantically—fucked myself in life just like that abnd now I had to fight for my take.